Earlier this week, I was having a challenge that was really affecting me. More specifically, it was the fear of failure. All day it kept coming up. Reminding me “just how bad this is” and “you’re so wrong/screwed/dumb”. Then, into the night, it followed me. My sleep was restless and I kept running the same story over and over (not helpful by the way).
I got up the next morning (still troubled) and decided I was going to do something about it. I’m an early riser anyway, so at 5am, I was outside with my candle burning bright and a pen and my journal (the best therapist) in front of me.
For the next 90 minutes, I just wrote whatever came to my head.
My morning pages routine (what I call journalling) is therapeutic. Meditative. Sometimes, you’ve just got to do some heavy mental filing.
And so I did.
Inside that 90 minutes, I had a conversation with myself. I spewed a bunch of mental clutter onto the page.
Like going on an exploration of the land, I would mark one spot, navigate my way around a little and then move to the next. For some, I would spend a lot of time there and really map it out, for others, I’d have a lot around, but then come back to later (if necessary).
Once I’d mapped it all out and really identified that what I was stuck on was the fear of failure, I knew that I was now ready to get to work.
I then listened closely to what my Inner Man (my soul) had to say, and wrote it down. This is where our dialogue started.
As a trained Demartini Facilitator, some of the mindset work that I do, includes discovering how seemingly ‘negative’ or ‘painful’ events, can actually be the key to unlocking further growth. It’s one of the most powerful tools available to you on the planet.
I asked my Inner Man directly…how could this fear actually be a benefit to you?”
“Ahh….it didn’t” said my mind.
“Look again” the reply came.
“Think of a time where you’ve failed and how that was actually not a failure, but instead feedback.
“Well, now you mention it, the last time I failed I….”
On and one I went. Until suddenly, things started evening out. Instead of being clouded in my mind, things started to clear up. I started to see the path I could take (if I chose).
I started making action points on a to-do list.
What seemed like such a big deal, just 24 hours prior, now literally just seemed like a gentle push from something much bigger than me. Guiding me in the direction I needed to head.
I’m grateful this only affected me for 24 hours too. So many walk around for days, weeks, months, or years with ‘things’ that have happened to them or people who’ve done wrong by them. If only they could see all failure is feedback. Instead of spending time worrying (unproductive), I was able to get to work (very productive).
This is the power of real mindset work. Not the fluffy ‘mindset’ work most seem to try and sell you, but really getting down, going deep and doing the hard work.
So many are afraid to face their challenges head on (including me at times of course), until they actually do it. Once you tackle it, you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
If you’re struggling with a current challenge, just know, you’re not alone.
Like you (and every other person on the planet, including every single one of my elite coaching clients), we all face challenges. Sometimes, what seems like a daily basis.
Along with these challenges though, comes a choice. You can either let it run your life, or you can do something about it.
The question is, which way will you go with it?