The more you learn, the more you realise certain things you’ve done might be considered mistakes.
It’s easy to beat yourself up over these mistakes and go one step further to see them as being “character flaws”.
This is the dangerous line we cross between guilt and shame.
Guilt = I did something bad/wrong.
Shame = I am bad/wrong.
One is focused on a behaviour, the other is focused on self and an identity.
When you “are” you will act in accordance to that identity.
So if you binge eat, and you go into guilt, you will tell yourself: “Man, I should’ve have eating that much..that was a mistake.”
You might tell your best friend or someone you trust and sometimes have a laugh about it.
When you go into shame after binge eating, you will associate yourself as the mistake: “Man, why do I always eat so much. I’m such a useless blob.”
You will not tell and soul and are deeply ashamed of what you continually do.
But there is a way out.
For the past 18 months I have been studying and learning about human behaviours and emotions. Particularly how we act and react to certain situations.
There are a specific set of questions that we can ask to ‘dissolve’ these emotions and feelings, which I share one of with you below.
Even if you were to do just this one thing, you’ll find some major benefits to your life.
Today, we tackle guilt…
- Discover exactly what it is you feel guilty about.
- Identify who your guilt is aimed at (who did you “do” it to)
- Discover exactly how in that moment you perceived yourself as doing something wrong, you actually helped serve the other person/group (exhaust all memories)
- Discover exactly how in that moment you perceived yourself as doing something wrong, it actually helped serve YOU (exhaust all memories).
Keep pressing until you get ‘the shift’ and start to feel different…if you haven’t got it yet, keep listing the benefits.
You do not have to live with guilt any longer.
If you need assistance and would like to talk to a trained professional, please let me know via message or comment below.
I would love to help you through this process to take away the unnecessary pain and wasted time spent worrying.
Hope that’s helps.